Shhh. Don’t say anything, but it’s July. You guys, we made past the middle of 2020 and no sign of aliens yet! I’m taking that as monumental progress.
Now if I could just get Facebook and Instagram to stop serving me ads for products I’m only thinking about. What is THAT all about, anyway?
Seriously though, this year has been a constant flat tire, right? Just when you think it might start looking up…pfffffft…you run over another nail.
But never fear! I’m convinced this month is going to be better. It’s really summer now. Warm weather, sunroofs, tan lines, sunburns (yeech. had my fair share of that this last weekend), and cool, refreshing drinks with boozy booze in them. Yes, summer is my favorite time of year.
What I’m Reading
If you find yourself in need of a few good books for vacation, or staycation, or even just a lock-yourself-in-the-bathroom-so-the-kids-don’t-find-you-retreat, here are a few choices I would recommend:
Daisy Jones & the Six, by Taylor Jenkins Reed
If you grew up with Fleetwood Mac, or you just plain like the band, then this book is your jam.
My entire childhood and teen years were filled with the music of Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac. There probably isn’t a song of theirs that exists that I don’t know all the words to. And each song transports me to a specific memory. A memory so strong I can remember every detail.
But growing up I never paid attention to the story of the band members. I never knew about the love triangles or the drama, or the heartaches these songs were actually all about.
This book brings all of that to life.
But in a totally non-boring way.
I don’t know how Taylor Jenkins Reed has done it, but she has written a book that reads like a documentary, but is completely interesting and engaging and very non-documentary like.
The characters are amazing, of course, but their words. Oh my goodness, I’ve never earmarked so many pages. This book will be famous for it’s quotes, I swear. Here are a few I found memorable:
“BILLY: I mean, it’s hard to say what a song is about sometimes. Sometimes even you don’t know why you wrote that line, or how it came into your head, or even what it means.”
“DAISY: …everybody wants somebody to hold up the right mirror.”
“DAISY: I fell in love with the wrong guy who was exactly the right guy…”
“KAREN: Even now, talking about him feels like poking a bruise.”
“GRAHAM: It’s the ones who never loved you enough that come you when you can’t sleep. You always wonder what the future might have held and you’ll never know. Maybe you almost don’t want to know…”
“BILLY: I have no tolerance for people that waste other people’s faith in them. None at all.”
“DAISY: I had absolutely no interest in being somebody else’s muse. I am not a muse. I am the somebody. End of fucking story.”
Gah! Such a powerful, charged story. I loved it immensely!
Next up is a silly, sultry, slutty little paranormal romance I read called “Fire in his Blood“ by Ruby Dixon.
Yes, the same Ruby Dixon that wrote Ice Planet Barbarians.
Hey. Don’t laugh. Have you read that book? It’s freakin’ fantastic. I mean it. Hands down the best alien romance I’ve ever read (full disclosure: it’s the only alien romance I’ve ever read…but still).
Anyway, this time Ruby has us in a dystopian Earth where dragons have taken over and are flaming all the citizens alive. Okay, take a breath and let that sink in for a second. Dragons. On Earth. Still with me? Haha! Okay so one woman, Claudia, is taken into custody by the corrupt government and is offered as a sacrifice to the dragons.
She’s naked a lot.
She screams a lot.
And the dragon is more than just a dragon. He’s also naked a lot.
Stop rolling your eyes, haha! Sometimes you just have to read something silly and just for the FUN of it! Like watching Tiger King. You didn’t watch it because you wanted to learn a new skill, or wanted to increase your enlightenment. You wanted to veg out and watch something funny and ridiculous and just…entertaining, right?
This book is like that.
Lots of flames, spicy sexy times, and a pretty substantial plot, make this book easy to read and so entertaining. Loved it.
I’ve stumbled upon a new addicting series called White Lines on Netflix.
Okay, so I didn’t stumble upon it…it was advertised at the top of the app as a new show, but whatev. I think I selected it because it was tagged as a British-Spanish mystery thriller. I can’t remember exactly why now, but it’s very good.
Now, this show is not one to watch with the kids around. If you are looking for a family friendly show, try Virgin River or The Hart of Dixie (both contain the same actor as the town doctor, btw).
No, this show…it’s the opposite of family friendly. It’s sex, a lot of drugs, alcohol, violence, mafia, murders, dance clubs in Ibiza, and a lot of subtitles. But holy wow, it is so engrossing. The plot is quick and smart, the dialogue and directing is perfection, and the actors are simply amazing. Also I’m pretty sure the heroine is the voice of Merida in Disney’s “Brave”.
Who killed Axle Collins? Gah! I don’t know! And I can’t wait to find out. I love this show. Check it out.
Here are a few songs I’ve found from the soundtrack to White Lines that are really catchy, especially for lifting weights or jogging (not that I jog).
Free Animal – Foreign Air
Be Mine – Ofenbach
Products I’d Give up Coffee for
It’s not a monthly newsletter without my favorite new finds on the internets. Here are what I discovered this past month.
Active 10 pain-relieving lotion
Wow. Nothing says getting old quite like falling in love with a pain relieving lotion, amiright?
In my defense, my daughter recently tore some ligaments in her ankle and I took her to see a chiropractor for further evaluation. He used this lotion on her and gave me some samples. And after using it for about a second, I bought a huge bottle. It’s like Icy Hot, but better.
Fair warning: it has cayenne in it, so be sure to wash your hands really well after using it.
I’ve used it for my stinking back injury that won’t go away and I’ve also used it after eating too much gluten and having my joints swell up like I was in a boxing match (and lost). The chiro said it came with a money back guarantee and he’d never had anyone return it. I can see why.
I know I’ve mentioned this here before, but this lash serum really is the best I’ve found. If you need your lashes to do something a little more spectacular, or if you’re just tired of spending so much money on extensions, pick this up. It’s pretty rare that I will buy the same skin care product more than once, but I think I’m on my third tube of this stuff. Well worth the $25 price tag.
Mario Badescu Enzyme Facial Cleanser
I recently ran out of my favorite fast wash (Egg on Your Face, by Perfectly Posh), and while I wait for the back orders to arrive, I needed something to fill the void. My teenage daughter bought this one for herself (correction: I bought it for her), and so I grabbed it out of her bathroom the other night and gave it a try.
It’s super soft on my face, it doesn’t lather up so much that you can’t rinse it off, and the scent is super fresh and clean. I was really impressed. Maybe I’ll accidentally forget to return it to her, like she does with so many of MY things. Heh Heh.
Why are medium chain triglycerides important? I’m so happy you asked.
“Taking MCT oil could have many benefits and very few risks. For starters, it contains fatty acids that can promote weight loss by reducing body fat, increasing fullness and potentially improving your gut environment.” –Healthline.com
There is even some research that shows MCT oil can be effective at helping to reduce seizures in epilepsy and improves behavior in children with autism.
“The ketogenic diet (KD) is one of the most effective therapies for drug-resistant epilepsy.” Source
“A modified ketogenic gluten-free diet with MCT improves behavior in children with autism spectrum disorder.” Source
Guys. We should ALL be using MCT oil as a daily supplement. This one just happens to be in the form of a coffee creamer, which to me is like a no-brainer. Coffee + MCT? Twist my arm. 🙂
High-rise Crochet Hem Denim Shorts
Stinkin’ Target does it again! $17.00 for these adorable high rise shorts. Come ON, Target, stop killing me with these deals! Ok, but really don’t stop, ’cause I love ya.
A Recipe for Summer
Look at this beauty.
I knew when I purchased those popsicle molds for my kids all those years ago, they would come in handy again some day.
And that day is today, bitches.
Imagine: you are sitting in your back yard on a sunny Saturday afternoon. The yard is weed-free and the grass is cut. Your flowers are all blooming perfectly and there isn’t a yellow jacket is sight. No one is calling your name. No one is expecting you to make dinner any time soon. You’re barefoot and relaxing in your zero gravity chair, and you’re not sweaty at all. You have zero seasonal allergies, and your body looks Instagram filter perfect in your trendy bikini that does not make your boobs look flat. And in your young supple hand is this perfect, ice cold, non-drippy popsicle that is filled with the sweet flavors of watermelon and tequila.
Okay, so which part of the story is not fabricated? Well, the popsicle part of course. All the rest only exists in a magical fairy land, right?! 🙂
This recipe, and many other amazing martini concoctions is from the blog, “I’m bored, let’s go..”
WATERMELON MARGARITA POPSICLES
- 4–5 C. diced watermelon, seedless (about 1/2 small watermelon)
- 1/4 C. tequila
- 2 Tbls. Cointreau (or Triple Sec)
- 3 Tbls. mint simple syrup (read about making flavored simple syrup here)
- 1 Tbls. lime juice
- Puree watermelon in food processor or blender. Add tequila, Cointreau, simple syrup and lime juice. Taste and add more simple syrup or lime if needed.
- Pour into popsicle mold, Insert sticks and freeze until frozen.
A Birthday Present for You!
July is my birthday month. 7/11 to be exact. Free slurpee’s for life, bro.
Okay, full disclosure: I’ve never had a slurpee and somehow I don’t feel as though I’m missing anything. No?
As a gift from me to you, my novel, Lost in the Right Direction, is free on Barnes and Noble and iBooks, and only 99 pennies on Amazon.
And guess what else? The digital edition has had a cover change. Hope you likey.
That’s it for me. Happy July. Don’t forget your tinfoil hats.
1 thought on “The 5-Minute Newsletter || July, 2020”
I loved your July newsletter ( I do love all of your newsletters). I feel in the know because I am a repeat user of lash babe! It was recommended to me by my manicurist in Klamath FallS- a couple of years ago. A great product!
Happy Fourth of July!